Hello You. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I hope you’re well. Have I got that multi-million pound book/film deal since I last wrote? No. Have I been pissing around on the internet? Of course. My Better Half and I are getting married in a few months. I know. I’m still stunned too. Traditionally, the [...]
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The Army of Dave Guide To Parenthood Part 2
A while ago, I wrote a Guide to Parenthood for those with babies. I now feel it is time to pass on some more wisdom. As Kids A-C have grown older, it has become important for boundaries to be established. My research (Googling ‘If you can hear me, help me Supernanny’) shows that parents should [...]
Cuteness in Purchasable Form
Hello. You look lovely today. Is that a new blouse / shirt / hairstyle / nipple ring? Recently, when bored one evening, I made this: Rampant egotist that I am, I put it up on Twitter and some people said some lovely things and asked if they could buy one. Well, I’ve sorted it all out [...]
Is Twitter Angry About Something?
Inspired by the various “Is Twitter Down?” websites that exist, I’ve spent 5 minutes knocking together: IsTwitterAngryAboutSomething.com Well. Is it?
Death and the Laughter Life
Hello. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Look at you. All grown up. Have you started shaving? I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately. I’ve been busy, but that’s no excuse. I wasn’t going to write this blog post, but I probably owe you an explanation. I’ve been spending my time over on Twitter [...]
I’m Sorry I Haven’t Written Anything In a While…
…But I’ve been too busy laughing at this book. I don’t know why it’s funny…
Apparently…
… I am ‘FHM Approved’ And people said I’d need bigger tits…
Historical Fact!
Stonehenge was actually a giant game of Jenga built to appease the “Party Gods”
Movember – Can I Have My Face Back Now?
And so Movember has drawn to a close. The moustache has been washed down the plug hole, half-forgotten like an embarrassing drunken memory. My face is barren and uninteresting. You amazing people were generous enough to help me raise £130 for the cause and I really can’t thank you enough. You are all awesomely awesome. Especially [...]
A Poorly Constructed Cartoon About ‘The Apprentice’
I Always Thought the Voice Over Said “Candidates Have Come From Across The Country To Fight For a Job With a Stick Figure Salary” For @MoreUtterPiffle
