As you know, I’m a big fan of the interweb. I mean, you’re on it for a start. And everyone knows that you’re my favourite. Because of the interweb, the cruel unforgiving universe became a little bit lovelier yesterday and nobody had to post any pictures of kittens for it to happen. I came into [...]
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Twitter: A Pun’s Best Friend
While strolling from work to my car, I tweeted this delicious bon mot: A devilish piece of wordplay, I’m sure you’ll all agree. But then Twitter took the idea to it’s sweaty 140 character wide bosom and I received a cavalcade of awesome plays on words. I couldn’t commend all the tweeters individually, so I [...]
The Easter Story Told Through Twitter
I seem to have inadvertently told the story of Easter through Twitter yesterday. Seeing as I’ve got nothing else to write about, I thought I’d stick it on here: THURSDAY: FRIDAY: When doing this, I tried to register @Jesus_H_Christ as a username on Twitter, but it wouldn’t let me. Thinking someone had already taken it, [...]
Obsequious Tweet Test
Celebrities. They give so much and yet ask so little in return. They entertain, amuse and befuddle us and all they require is entrance into a nightclub before the proles. Though I heard a story that Nikki from Big Brother was overheard using the tried and tested phrase “Don’t you know who I am?” after [...]
MasterChef: Worse Than Crack: Part 2
Ladies and Gentlemen. The Grocer Has Landed. He has answered our appeals from Part 1 This is what I love about Twitter, blogging and the interweb in general. If it wasn’t for this outlet, all this would be rattling around my head and the poor Better Half would be left to put up with this [...]
MasterChef: Worse Than Crack: Part 1
The Better Half and I were watching the television the other day when I turned to her. “Is there anything else on? This episode of ’24′ is rubbish,” I said. “That’s because we’re watching ’60 Minute Makeover’,” she replied. ”Masterchef is on in a minute.” “Word.” I worded. Anybody who knows me knows I bloody love [...]
Another Drop In Standards For The Fourth Estate
At long last, I finally wrote something funy and one of my tweets made it onto page 21 of the Times today. Sorry about the quality of the picture: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! In payment I’ll take a discount on my Sky subscription, Mr Murdoch. I’ve had my moment. I’ll be quiet now.
The Sun Jumps the Shark
Last night, while watching the 10 o’clock news, I tweeted the following: And I woke up this morning to this: I knew the Sun wouldn’t let me down. If anyone is interested, my copywriting skills are available for hire. I’ve been trying to sell “I Go Nuts for Doughnuts” as an advertising slogan for Krispy [...]
So What Have I Learnt?
Thanks to HeavyLight for providing the picture. That’s us just above “porn” and “Star Trek”. The two constants from my adolescence. Only joking. I never watched “Star Trek”. It’s dropped off the Trending Topics on Twitter now, but that’s cool. America woke up and then people got jolly annoyed with Twitter for reasons I don’t [...]
Why The Internet Is Great
Hello. Me again. Something weird happened today. “Good weird”, though, rather than “My Ex-Girlfriend Jenny Weird”. I was at work, sipping my 48th coffee of the day and staring out of the window. I was mulling things over; Newcastle’s victory, how to persuade the Better Half to name our expected child Johnny Joey Dee Dee [...]
