This morning, I cast my eye over the newspapers while in the garage and saw this:
“I bloody knew it!” I shouted. “I always reckoned Nicole Kidman looked a bit weird and plasticky, but people put it down to the botox. But, no, she was built for Tom Cruise by Scientologists in the underground lab they share with the Lizard People!
‘Maverick Scientist’? Wasn’t Maverick Tom Cruise’s call sign in ‘Top Gun’? It all fits! We’re through the looking glass here, people!”
The other customers tried their best not to make eye contact. Then I realised it was two separate stories:
And apparently Texaco no longer require my custom in any of their retail outlets.
And if any scientists read this, while you’re pissing around with “artificial life”, I am still without a jetpack.
Leave a comment