The Conservative Party denied they were scaremongering with their new campaign poster. “All we’re saying is if you vote for the Liberal Democrats, you better go out and buy a shovel,” said George Osbourne. “I’ll be alright. I’ve not got much up top for the zombie hoardes to chew on.” (I promised you zombies. I [...]
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UKIP: FFS
I quite like the way that my local UKIP candidate is attempting to woo me by sounding like a slightly pissed elderly relative. It’s strangely comforting. I’m hoping that he’ll soon be banging on about how it were all fields around here once and how you can’t use the word “gay” anymore.
The Third And (Thankfully) Last Debate Drinking Game
Amnesty International phone me up last night to see if I’d increase my direct debit payments to them. “I’ve been paying these monthly deposits for nearly a year and I’ve still not received my political prisoner,” I told the guy on the end of the phone. He was not amused. Anyway, as you can tell, [...]
Vote Match
Are you aware of the Vote Match website? It’s a handy tool. It asks you a series of questions and, based on your responses, provides a breakdown of the political parties most in tune with your own personal principles and priorities. As you can see from the screenshot below, I appear to be a lot [...]
Things That Disappoint Me
I’m sorry I’ve not been around for a few days. I’ve been coming to terms with the unremitting awfulness of Transformers 2. I quite liked the original film. It was loud. It was fun. Shit got blown up. But the sequel is Michael Bay wanking into a CGI sock for two and a half hours. [...]
That BNP Manifesto In Full
As you may be aware, the BNP launched their manifesto today. For the sake of balance, I feel it’s only fair that I reprint it here in its entirity:
Because Fact Into Doubt Won’t Go
Facts are a problem. Facts change over time as situations change and more evidence becomes available. Opinions, on the other hand, can be absolute. You can help yourself to one and it could never change until the day you die. In this age of 24 hour rolling news, satellites and the internet, facts have become a problem mostly for [...]
Mass Debate 2: Mass Debater
Hello again. Has it been a week? You look lovely. Have you done something with your hair? A week is a long time in politics. It’s a bloody long time when there’s an election on. With this campaign focussing more and more on the televisual and online media, the traditional press are verging on hysteria, [...]
Avocado Watch: Day 2
Forget everything I said yesterday These are the last 4 avocados in the U.K. We’re boned. Now’s the time to panic. I’ll spare you the distress of the Halloumi cheese shelf.
