I hate dolphins. Smug bastards. I like to go up to them, scream “Opposable thumbs!” and open jars in their faces.
This is why I’m banned from Seaworld.
But the ability to pick up telephones and – for example - use a keyboard to write news stories possibly aren’t the best examples of our superiority over everyone’s favourite sea mammal.
Hang on. Now, I’m not an expert on politics, but I’m pretty sure there were four people “in the dock” over these allegations?
As Anton Vowl’s sworn off the Mail for Lent or something, I thought I’d better go and read the article myself just to make sure of the details. You can too here.
Right. I’m reading the article… Three Labour MPs… Trying to wriggle out of trial claiming parliamentary privilege… Insisting courts had no jurisdiction… Big pictures of the three MPs with the word ‘Theft’ under each one.
Oh. Now here’s a picture of Lord Hanningfield getting into a taxi. Isn’t he the Conservative peer? What’s he doing there? Maybe he’s there for moral support.
Still reading… Definition of parliamentary privilege… Advert for Richard Littlejohn… Quotes from protestors… Sound bite from the always reliable Taxpayer’s Alliance… Paragraph about the three Labour MPs refusing to stand in the dock…
Bingo! There were four of them! I knew I was right. There’s a first time for everything:
“Tory peer Lord Hanningfield, who appeared separately, was also sent to Southwark Crown Court after denying wrongly claiming expenses.”
But he’s not going to claim to be “above the law” by citing parliamentary privilege, as the article describes the three Labour MPs, is he?
“The court was told he would also argue he was covered by Parliamentary privilege”
Oh.
Look, I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid. I know that every newspaper has an agenda. I’m well aware of on what side of the fence the Mail are on. I’m pretty sure you can guess what side I am and that the Mail and I are never going to get on.
It’s just the complete lack of subtlety that depresses me. I know I pick on the Daily Mail but they generally provide the best examples of an ailment that afflicts all the press.
The public aren’t morons. We can see the games that they play.
That’s me done with my howl of impotent rage.
I’m off to go and tease Flipper by peeling bananas…
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“The public aren’t morons. We can see the games that they play.”
Unfortunately, I don’t think this is true.
I was just trying to be nice about the moro… I mean the public. The public.
Oh no! What a giveaway!
Don’t think I’m copying your piece, because I’m not. I’ve just posted a very similar article, clicked the Daily Mail tag, and discovered yours. Mine hasn’t got dolphins.
I spent much of last autumn being frustrated and depressed by this sort of thing. I really can’t be bothered. Though that might largely because I have less time now I’m not one of the sponging unemployed.
Tsk. You come over here, taking one of our jobs.
Admittedly, you left here to then come back over here.
Ha!
There was no one else to do it anyway. I’m a maths teacher. I had an interview on Thursday too so I might have taken TWO of your jobs!
[...] Army of Dave – Dolphins and parliamentary privilege. Given my self-imposed exile from the Mail (on which I'll scribble more a little later), Dave wonders why it's only the politicians of a certain type who are accused of thinking they're above the law. [...]