If the Daily Mail is James Blunt, then the Daily Express is James Morrison. Not quite as successful, it’s the paper for those that think the Daily Mail is a little too cutting edge and ‘with it’. Here’s today’s front page: I was disappointed that they didn’t write ‘Experts’ in sarcastic quote marks. I’ll pass [...]
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Shit! Not Even Thatcher Tried That!
Was anybody else as confused by the front page of the Times as I was this morning? “Christ on a bike!” I thought, “The Falklands dispute must’ve seriously escalated if the fucking Cybermen are involved.” Then I saw the whole page and must admit to being more than a little disappointed:
The C.I.A. – It’s Educational!
I often use the interweb for research. No, really, officer. It was research. Today I was researching a joke. Do you want to hear it? Tough. Here it is: “I just bought a Greek urn.” “What’s a Greek urn?” “On average, about 10% less than the last fiscal year.” It’s called satire, right? Anyway, on [...]
Irony Bypass
The BBC Have Your Say site is currently asking the question “Should Newspapers Have The Right to Be Offensive?” This is the most recommended comment: Possibly recommended by people who spend their time posting comments on Have Your Say about how anything that doesn’t conform to their own world view offends them. Actually, are these [...]
Army of Dave Cultural Pilgrimage
I’ve said before that I have a grudging respect for people with families that embark on affairs. As part of a SITCOM family (Single Income. Three Children. Oppressive Mortgage.), I don’t have the time or energy to keep the Better Half happy, let alone two or more. She’s already aware that when the mid-life crisis [...]
Army of Dave Valentine’s Special
“I found this pretty little thing in downtown Kabul.”
Dave’s Big Fat Cult
At school, I was told that I would either become a writer or end up forming a cult. As the former is taking longer than anticipated, I thought I’d have a crack at the latter. That’s where the money is. End of the World Cults. I saw this headline today on the Broadcast Now website: [...]
Stormtroopers Need Love Too…
Jumping around the backwaters of the Sky EPG yesterday, I came across this advert: Yes, so stunned was I that I rewound the telly, paused it and went to find my phone to take a photograph. Actually, the nurse is quite hot. Without dwelling on the superficiality of taking an interest in someone based purely [...]
The Sun Jumps the Shark
Last night, while watching the 10 o’clock news, I tweeted the following: And I woke up this morning to this: I knew the Sun wouldn’t let me down. If anyone is interested, my copywriting skills are available for hire. I’ve been trying to sell “I Go Nuts for Doughnuts” as an advertising slogan for Krispy [...]
