I’m Back, Baby!

Apologies for going dark for the last week. Did you miss me?
For those who don’t know, I was in at the International Screenwriters’ Festival in the illustrious grounds of Cheltenham Ladies College. If those walls could talk. Just think of all the stories of lesbian experimentation…
10 Things I Learned This Week:
1. Cheltenham is a town [...]

Be a Part of the Army of Dave!

Er… I think there might be a few new members of the Army of Dave today.
Hello! Please help yourself to drinks and cheese’n’pineapple on sticks. The toilets are just through there and the coats go in Kid C’s bedroom.
Yesterday was a good day. The Nick Griffin drinking game received over 10,000 hits and the response [...]

Nick Griffin Question Time Drinking Game

I generally try and avoid politics on the interweb. Whenever I do, I resort to childish name calling or immature pranks.
But when I discovered that Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP, was to appear on Question Time (Thursday 22nd October 2009 at 10:35 BBC1), I considered writing a thoughtful piece on whether we should give [...]

Jedi Masterchef

Cheese and Pineapple on Lightsabre? That’s a party!

200th Post Celebrity Special

Hello. Gary Lineker here. You know. Golden Boot winner. No bookings. Nicest man in football. Farts don’t stink.
Anyway, I’ve taken a break from spending time with my Hot New Wife to write this special 200th blog post.
It’s probably a good thing too as Danielle is in a bad mood with me.
“Gary,” she said last week. [...]

Zombie Masterchef

This has been an Army of Dave / The Better Half co-production.

Zombie Fact! #5

Millions of lives could be saved if more people were aware that – in the absence of available brains – zombies are equally happy with cheese and pineapple on sticks.

What? They’re zombies.
I never said they were classy.

Very Very Good

A couple of weeks ago – for reasons I can no longer remember – I attempted to teach 3 year old Kid B how to say the comedian Peter Serafinowicz’s name.
After much coaching and swearing (mostly from her), we digitally encoded our efforts into MP3 format. You can find the results here.
Can you overdose from [...]

Barack Obama Nominated For BBC Sports Personality of the Year

The BBC sparked more controversy this week by including US President Barack Obama in the nominations for the annual Sports Personality of the Year award.
“We are aware that he’s only thrown the opening pitch at some baseball games, but we feel that they’ve been quite inspirational. Some people have even forgotten that they’re about to [...]

The Fourth Most Punchable Man In Britain

I’m sorry.
I’ve let you down.
More importantly, I’ve let myself down.
You know how people have “The List”? The theoretical list of celebrities that – if you ever found yourself in the same room as them – you’re allowed to make a pass at? Well, as I’m a very angry man I have a list of celebrities [...]