Well, it’s 4 o’clock in the morning. I’ve never been funny at 4 o’clock in the morning.

Unless I’ve been drinking through the night.

And then there’s the very real possibility that I only think I’m being funny and – actually – I’m just ranting and drooling on your shoulder.

In fact, I might take this opportunity to apologise to anybody who I’ve been drinking with where this has occurred. Or, more simply, I apologise to anybody I’ve been drinking with. Ever.

Either way, this might not go as well as we’d all hoped.

2. Colonel Wilma Deering – ‘Buck Rogers in the 25th Century’

 Zoltar. Wilma. I’m beginning to think that lipgloss was very big in the Seventies.

That’s my over-riding memory of Col. Deering. Shiny, shiny lips.

It was the 25th Century. She was a Colonel. Progressive!

She took no crap from that Rogers bloke who, to be honest, was a bit of a twat.

 

 

 

 

Even though she’d risen through the ranks to be a top notch Starfighter pilot (which is still the coolest spaceship ever), she still found time to wear jaunty numbers like this:

To be honest, if more senior ranking members of the armed services wore stuff like this, I think we’d be doing a lot better in Afghanistan.

Something that says “Would you like Pepsi to go with that bargain bucket, sir?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Little know factoid: The Starfighter was based on Ralph McQuarrie’s original design for the Viper spacecraft in the original ‘Battlestar Galactica’. Which is a shame because having them in it would’ve made it slightly less shit.

That and not having Face from ‘The A-Team’ in it.

I watched an episode of ‘The A-Team’ for this first time in years this week. It’s not the hard-hitting study of Vietnam veterans that I remember.

Oh, wait. Sorry. That’s ‘The Deerhunter’. I always get them confused.

‘The Deerhunter’ spawned a game we used to play at school called ‘Russian Omelette’. Two people would sit opposite each other (red headbands optional) with a tray of six eggs in front of them. Five would be hard boiled. One would be raw. You would then take it in turns to smash them over your own head.

I went to a weird school.