I’ve suddenly realised that the Screenwriters’ Festival in only a handful of months away. Admittedly, I’ve only realised this after getting another email from the organisers demanding a headshot for the delegates list. So I got the Better Half to take this: The thick-rimmed glasses. The cardigan. The thousand yard stare. Doesn’t it just scream [...]
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Signs of the Coming Apocalypse Part 3.
You mean she’s (ghost) writing children’s books now? FFS. With all the great works of children’s fiction out there, who in their right mind would choose something written by a woman who’s entire career has been based on getting her tits out and marrying the world’s most un-life-like man? My biggest disappointment, though, is that [...]
Inexplicably Popular Posts
Hello. You will notice on the left hand side, I’ve added an “Inexplicably Popular Posts” widget. I may be using the word “popular” incorrectly, but they’re the most read posts on this l’il ol’ blog. Sort of a “Beginners Guide to Dave’s Brain”. I should probably be concerned that my confession of love for a [...]
Spot The Mistake
Sky’s website handily compiles the day’s newspaper front pages. I searched for “newspaper front pages 2009″ and I have printed the results below. Hang on. The 9th July 2009 is missing from the list. Surely some mistake? Oh, wasn’t that the day that the Guardian printed the story about the News International owned Sun allegedly [...]
Worst. Pun. Ever.
My town holds an annual Roald Dahl festival. Just so you’ve got that: Roald Dahl. Festival. No Hitchcock. My local newspaper reported it thus:
Bored At Work?
So, it’s Monday morning. The long week stretches out in front of you like a long, stretchy thing. How are you and your work colleagues going to entertain yourselves for the next five days? Here’s an idea: Do you have security swipe cards with embarrassing pictures on? Are all these pictures kept in a central [...]
Haven’t the Jacksons watched ‘Dawn of the Dead’?
But it’s the only way of making sure he doesn’t come back as a zombie and do the ‘Thriller’ dance for real!!!
School Gate Politics
I’ve not been able to get much writing done this week as every time I return home from work, I find a house full of other people’s children. It’s like gatecrashing a party full of drunk dwarves and, ironically, that would’ve been the dream when I was younger. After we’d removed the hoardes and the [...]
James Bond Theme Tunes: Definitive Guide
There has been some talk in the Twitterverse of the best/worst Bond theme tunes. In order to settle the argument, I feel I should re-print the research I undertook back in January. And I don’t think anybody read it first time around, so I’m hoping I’ll get away with it. As you can see, the [...]
