Do you – like me – miss the halcyon days of political scandal? When I were a lad it was all sexual deviance, with MPs snorting cocaine off the thighs of hookers and wall-t0-wall auto-erotic asphyxiation. Our taxes probably paid for the rubber hosing, too. Now they’re squabbling over how much they paid for some [...]
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So What Have I Learnt?
Thanks to HeavyLight for providing the picture. That’s us just above “porn” and “Star Trek”. The two constants from my adolescence. Only joking. I never watched “Star Trek”. It’s dropped off the Trending Topics on Twitter now, but that’s cool. America woke up and then people got jolly annoyed with Twitter for reasons I don’t [...]
Why The Internet Is Great
Hello. Me again. Something weird happened today. “Good weird”, though, rather than “My Ex-Girlfriend Jenny Weird”. I was at work, sipping my 48th coffee of the day and staring out of the window. I was mulling things over; Newcastle’s victory, how to persuade the Better Half to name our expected child Johnny Joey Dee Dee [...]
Signs of the Coming Apocalypse Part 2.
Is it me, or does the Peter Andre doll look more lifelike than the real thing? Generally, I try to avoid sleb culture. Personally, I like my famous people to – y’know – have some talent. But I’m old fashioned like that. But, at times like these, I always have an urge to say something. [...]
Stating The Bleeding Obvious
The Better Half and I are friends with a couple. They’re in a similar situation as us. A SITCOM family (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) with kids of a similar age to ours. It turns out that he’s been pretty much putting it around as much as possible behind her back for the last [...]
A Star Is Born!
Remember that #twitstunt thing a few weeks ago? Yeah? Want to see some footage from it? Yeah? OK. Go here It’s really good! Gasp at the panning shot showing far too many empty beer glasses! Laugh at my really good John Woo gag! Be amazed at how nasal I sound! Find yourself bemused by my [...]
F*ckwits of the World Unite!
Oh joy of joys. The ‘Have Your Say’ forum on the BBC News website has gone down. If you’ve never experienced it’s terrifying beauty, basically, a small bunch of right-wing twunts howl with impotent rage against the world, mostly about the gays, muslims and peados taking their jobs. The fact that they’ve been denied a [...]
Signs of the Coming Apocalypse
1. The Doner Kebab Pot Noodle Don’t get me wrong. I have no pride. I have eaten many, many kebabs. I have consumed many, many Pot Noodles. I’ve even tried a Tesco’s Value Pot Noodle, which I think was made almost entirely of cardboard. But what does eating this flavour say about you? It says [...]
100th Blog Post Celebrity Special!
Hi! I’m Gos. You might remember me from Big Brother 4. You don’t? Really? Oh. That’s ok. I don’t remember me from Big Brother 4. Dave’s really excited to reach the landmark of 100 blog posts. But not excited enough to actually write it himself. He’s currently chillaxing, with a collection of young, greased Turkish [...]
