Hello. My name is Kid C. I’m quite new around here but I’ve already developed a typing speed of 60 wpm. My Mummy and Daddy are very happy I’ve arrived and my intentions appear to be to sleep all day and p-a-r-t-y all night. I’m a Mac and I’m 16 Hours Old. In your face, [...]
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More Mischief
I like music. It can be a great force for good. Except “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon. Yesterday, I started thinking about the paradox in the chorus, my brain got stuck in an infinite loop and I lost the whole morning. Apparently, the original ending of ‘Terminator Salvation” featured John Conner playing the song [...]
#theBNParetwats – The Gift That Keeps on Giving
You remember the whole BNP hashtag fun’n’games? Well, it seems that the BNP election flyers have a correspondence address on them. Originally, I’d planned on gathering a whole lot of flyers, manufacturing a papier mache mosque and sending it to the address. Unfortunately, the Better Half – possibly knowing me too well – got hold [...]
A New Project
You’ve done the writing you planned to do, the Better Half has taken the kids out for a while and there’s nothing on the television. What’s a boy to do? It’s obvious. You make the world’s biggest Kit Kat. If I wasn’t in a steady relationship, I’d suspect that I’d really need to get laid.
Hippo Breeding Programme
I’m trying to start a Hungry Hippos Breeding Programme. Next, I’m going to breed a herd of Buckaroos, create a cavalry of Action Men and annexe the local playground.
The Day I Inconvenienced Tony Jordan
I have the worst sense of direction on the planet. I have an ‘A’ Level in Geography. True, I can hold court on the finer points of glacial moraines and oxbow lakes (pay attention in class when taught about these, kids, because you’re going to need that knowledge later in life!), but this has not [...]
My Stalker
I’ve had to leave the house. I’m sat in a coffee shop, sketching this post out in my Moleskine notebook while I sip a latte. I sometimes think that if I met the 18 year old version of me, he’d punch me in the head. What has driven me from my home? Why do I [...]
The Tao of the Chocolate Hob Nob
I felt it was time to do another All Time Top 5. Partly because one or two people enjoy them, but mostly because it fills up a week of blog entries. I toyed with a few ideas. One was All Time Top 5 biscuits. Then I thought “No, there’s only one biscuit worthy of entry. [...]
Bloody Hell! An Actual Post About Writing!!!
I’m thinking about trying to write a novel. As you may know, I’ve concentrated on screenwriting but writing this blog has caused me to fall in love with prose all over again. I think I could write something quite funny. I have a few ideas that could be developed. Are there any websites that you [...]
Zombie Apocalypse
I think I’d be quite handy come the zombie apocalypse. I have kids. I know a lot of party games and card tricks. I’d be good in a siege situation. Or really annoying. And I would have no qualms separating a zombie’s head from it’s body. Particularly if it’s my neighbours who insist on playing [...]
